Tire Shop
ring Hello. Yeah, uh, tire store?! Yeah. Hey, this is Hoyt. You guys got me a tire and my vehicle's...flipped out every which direction you can imagine. Sir, sir, sir. You must assume that I recognize your voice, therefore didn't introduce yourself, unfortunately that's not the case. So, uh, what's your last name? Herringbone...fella. And I took my vehicle-''' Sir. '-to the dealer-' Buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. I don't need attitude, I'm trying to help you out here, man. How do you spell your last name? 'My name's Hoyt Herringbone and my dealer said that my cal-' Sir! Sir! If you would just tell me, spell me your last name, I can quickly help you. 'Who am ''I speakin' with? Maybe you should just call back when you can calm down, man. I mean, I...I think you might have, uh, the wrong number here, I don't, I don't have anybody in the computer by that name. You don't even have a computer system. Based on my-what I-''' Who, who you tryin' to call? Who you tryin' to call? 'You haven't even identified who ''y'are! You got the wrong company, buddy. Rough guy, I bought a tire fair and square. My calipers are all broken as a result. Oh...This must, this must be a prank phone call, man. What kinda car you got? A real iffy one. Real iffy. Thanks to you. So I want quadruple my purchase price refunded to me. Oh, this is a prank phone call. Okay. Comprende? ''What?'' I said this is a prank phone call. I'll come down on foot, pay ya a little visit, how's that sound? Oh don't get-don't land yourself in jail, buddy. In jail? Yeah-''' Well, don't, don't break the law. Don't commit any crimes. '''All my calipers are broken as a result of your shoddy material. scoff I can't even take you serious, dude. I don't even have you in the computer. When did you come? I was there on...Wednesdee, fair and square. What kinda car was it? I got a Daihatsu Blooper. Well, a Daihatsu Blooper, what's that? I'm gonna come up'air and wring your neck. You really-you really are fucked up in the head, aren't you? I want quadruple my purchase price, period. End of discussion. laughs Hey, what kinda pills are you on, dude? For real. Yeah, there's gonna be some spills once I get ahold of ya. Oh... Pull out your teeth-thuuuuh! Hey, listen, what kinda car do you drive? Listen: I'm Hoyt Herringbone, I came up Wednesdee, I bought a wheel and a tire for my-''' What, what time of day? '''-for my Daihatsu Blooper-Not important! All my calipers are shot, I took it to the dealer, he said I should get quadruple my purchase price back. What dealer did you go to? I went to my own dealer, and that's also none of your concern. None of my concer-laughs Okay...What are you, what are you on TV or somethin'? So do yourself a favor, do everybody a favor: Refund quadruple my purchase price back and I'll let it go. How much did you pay? Let's call it $385. What's the invoice number that-that-that you were given when you bought the- Don't have it handy. Well, why don't you get the invoice number for me, then? That's how I'll look it up. Why don't you hang up the phone? I'll come down in person. Spray some air in your ears and-''' Hey, uh, okay. click ring Hello? '''Hey, this is Hoyt Herringbone. Oh, hey Herringbone! What's up, boner? I got a defective caliper...on my car. Oh, yeah? Oh, no shit...You got some non-defective ?, alright. Tell you that much. I'm gonna flatten you out, and I'm gonna blast air up your nostril unless I get satisfaction. Am I making sense to you? How old are you, man? How old are you? I'm a registered driver ring, I'm street legal. laugh You know what, I-I-I-I actually owe you something, you know that? What's that? I owe you something, you know that? No, what? You've-you've actually, you've made me actually feel very happy right now. I feel like, I feel kinda like-I'm glad to meet somebody as stupid as you are, man. Put me in a good mood. You're glad that you ruined all the calipers in my Daihatsu? That makes you happy, huh? Yep, very happy. I appreciate that. I'm gonna level ya when I come down there. I just am. This must be like a recorded, like prank lines, huh? Where you gettin' this stuff? Where you gettin' this stuff? Well...I told ya, ya need to give me the invoice number, buddy. I don't have it handy, rough man! Well go, well, hey well-hey well-hey rough man, why dontcha go get it handy, rough man? Yeah, why don't you go, uh, take a nap. And wake up. Actually that's a good idea. That's a good-I wanna take a nap, man. Why dontcha send me over some hookers so I can, you know, have the nap and have a good time, at the same time? After you give me my refund I can, uh, be on my merry way. How's that sound? Well, uh...You shouldn't probably, you know, be in public while intoxicated. It's illegal, you know? Do you know a doggone thing about calipers, yes or no? Uh, yeah I know a thing or two about a caliper. Well, did you know that all of mine are ring ruined as a result of your shoddy product? click ring Hello. I'm Hoyt. Oh, this guy-this guy...Listen to this guy, this guy's been pranking me all day. You want me to fix your calipers? I need ya to reseat my calipers. Reseat your calipers? Mhm. Okay, alright, call me back in five minutes, I'll get you a price, man. What's the turnaround time on it? About a hour and a half. I'm gonna come up'air and, uh, you'll recognize me, I got a thug chain around my neck. You have a thug chain around your neck? Yeah. Alright, sounds good, buddy. We'll play some Run DMC for you, man. You still missin' teeth? No, I'm not missin' any teeth, man. You will be when I show up. Alright, sounds good, man. I'm gonna rough ya up, and I'm gonna flatten ya out. laughs "I'm gonna rough you..." You're gonna rough me up, huh?! intelligible dialogue click